Mums say the darnedest things

Have you ever caught yourself talking to your children, and been struck by the thought that you might sound a little unhinged/ borderline unfit-to-parent to somebody who hadn’t quite picked up the context? Just for a lark I thought I would record some of the more peculiar things that have come out of my mouth – mainly directed at my 2-year-old – this past month.

Here they are, verbatim:

“Who put weet-bix on my eyelid?”

“You can drill the wall, but I don’t want you banging the wall.”

“I don’t think the sun gives milk to its baby.”

“We don’t sit on people’s toast.”

“Stop rubbing your ice-block into the doormat!”

“That’s not Jesus, that’s the man who reads the news.”

“If you need to wee, do it on the grass.”

“Mummy is not a fun fair – it hurts when you jump on my head!”

“Soap is not for eating.”

“That’s not Jesus, that’s just Michael Clarke – he plays cricket.

“The drill isn’t meant to go in your ear.”

“I’m raining Lego!”

“All the diggers are asleep now.”

“That’s not Baby Jesus, that’s Angelina Ballerina.”

“Go to sleep – there are no flying fish in your cot.”

If you’ve caught yourself saying something odd to your children lately, I’d love to hear it!

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18 thoughts on “Mums say the darnedest things

  1. Perfect, as always , so sweet. Ummm, I have no toddlers and my granddaughter is five months old..haha! I won’t say the strange things I say to my two seventeen year old boys :D…Loved this ā¤

      • LOL! You will find out soon enough…I don’t want to ruin the precious moments of your sweet blog..some are very strange though.. I have lost hope of Rhode Scholars, I will say that, LOLOL ;)..but I love them ā¤

      • OK..thought of some:

        ME: If this item that has been in the hallway, that has been here for a week, does not make it to someone’s room in the next 24 hours it is going to disappear permanently….
        (Item mysteriously disappears on it’s own šŸ™‚ )

        ME: Can you PLEASE find you hamster that keeps scaring me to death in the middle of the night!
        MICHAEL: I have been trying Mom..it will not hurt you…*smiles*
        (hamster is size of large rodent )

        DARICK: Well, in school today we just hung out and did nothing….
        ME: What do you mean? Your teachers did not teach you anything?
        DARICK: No, not really, but we got to play on our phones in one class, and I had to show my computer teacher how to make a web site…
        ME: bangs head

        ME: uses the word “witty”
        MICHAEL: what does that mean?
        ME: *stares blankly at my son* :/

        I am sure I could come up with much funnier ones…for instance anything beginning with…

        Mom, do not be upset….
        Mom, I really love you…
        are always winners šŸ™‚

        Oh the teen years…but I am sad they are almost over…to be honest. Enjoy, enjoy, they need you most when they are toddlers and teens. I do so love you blog. ā¤ -CC

  2. Miriam – mummy, we dont eat poo
    me- no we dont
    miriam – mummy we dont touch poo
    me – thats right, we dont touch poo
    miriam – can i touch the cat poo?
    me – no you cannot touch the cat poo
    miriam – bird poo?

    ……

  3. Love it!! What a classic šŸ˜€ Yep, I’ve been there. Have most definitely found myself saying things that I would never have said pre baby. You know, ‘ I really would prefer that you didn’t eat my face.’ That’s quite popular at the moment. šŸ™Š xx

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