Have you ever caught yourself talking to your children, and been struck by the thought that you might sound a little unhinged/ borderline unfit-to-parent to somebody who hadn’t quite picked up the context? Just for a lark I thought I would record some of the more peculiar things that have come out of my mouth – mainly directed at my 2-year-old – this past month.
Here they are, verbatim:
“Who put weet-bix on my eyelid?”
“You can drill the wall, but I don’t want you banging the wall.”
“I don’t think the sun gives milk to its baby.”
“We don’t sit on people’s toast.”
“Stop rubbing your ice-block into the doormat!”
“That’s not Jesus, that’s the man who reads the news.”
“If you need to wee, do it on the grass.”
“Mummy is not a fun fair – it hurts when you jump on my head!”
“Soap is not for eating.”
“That’s not Jesus, that’s just Michael Clarke – he plays cricket.
“The drill isn’t meant to go in your ear.”
“I’m raining Lego!”
“All the diggers are asleep now.”
“That’s not Baby Jesus, that’s Angelina Ballerina.”
“Go to sleep – there are no flying fish in your cot.”
If you’ve caught yourself saying something odd to your children lately, I’d love to hear it!