Have you ever caught yourself talking to your children, and been struck by the thought that you might sound a little unhinged/ borderline unfit-to-parent to somebody who hadn’t quite picked up the context? Just for a lark I thought I would record some of the more peculiar things that have come out of my mouth – mainly directed at my 2-year-old – this past month.
Here they are, verbatim:
“Who put weet-bix on my eyelid?”
“You can drill the wall, but I don’t want you banging the wall.”
“I don’t think the sun gives milk to its baby.”
“We don’t sit on people’s toast.”
“Stop rubbing your ice-block into the doormat!”
“That’s not Jesus, that’s the man who reads the news.”
“If you need to wee, do it on the grass.”
“Mummy is not a fun fair – it hurts when you jump on my head!”
“Soap is not for eating.”
“That’s not Jesus, that’s just Michael Clarke – he plays cricket.
“The drill isn’t meant to go in your ear.”
“I’m raining Lego!”
“All the diggers are asleep now.”
“That’s not Baby Jesus, that’s Angelina Ballerina.”
“Go to sleep – there are no flying fish in your cot.”
If you’ve caught yourself saying something odd to your children lately, I’d love to hear it!
“Blow the cat AFTER you’ve finished your spaghetti” lol!
Love your list!
Ha ha!! LOVE it – hilarious! š
Perfect, as always , so sweet. Ummm, I have no toddlers and my granddaughter is five months old..haha! I won’t say the strange things I say to my two seventeen year old boys :D…Loved this ā¤
Aww, thanks so much, CC! Kind of intrigued what you say to your big boys though… š
LOL! You will find out soon enough…I don’t want to ruin the precious moments of your sweet blog..some are very strange though.. I have lost hope of Rhode Scholars, I will say that, LOLOL ;)..but I love them ā¤
Hee hee! You’ve given me something to look forward to… I think…! š Am a teeny bit scared of teenage years actually!!
OK..thought of some:
ME: If this item that has been in the hallway, that has been here for a week, does not make it to someone’s room in the next 24 hours it is going to disappear permanently….
(Item mysteriously disappears on it’s own š )
ME: Can you PLEASE find you hamster that keeps scaring me to death in the middle of the night!
MICHAEL: I have been trying Mom..it will not hurt you…*smiles*
(hamster is size of large rodent )
DARICK: Well, in school today we just hung out and did nothing….
ME: What do you mean? Your teachers did not teach you anything?
DARICK: No, not really, but we got to play on our phones in one class, and I had to show my computer teacher how to make a web site…
ME: bangs head
ME: uses the word “witty”
MICHAEL: what does that mean?
ME: *stares blankly at my son*
I am sure I could come up with much funnier ones…for instance anything beginning with…
Mom, do not be upset….
Mom, I really love you…
are always winners š
Oh the teen years…but I am sad they are almost over…to be honest. Enjoy, enjoy, they need you most when they are toddlers and teens. I do so love you blog. ⤠-CC
HA!!! Thanks so much! Brilliant! (My mind is exploding from the thought of a giant midnight-death-hamster!)
LOL!!!! It is quite scary, trapped in the bathroom, “literally” nowhere to run at the moment..hahahaha š
Oh wow!! Sounds a bit like a Hitchcock movie- though “Hampsters” doesn’t quite have the same ring! š
š
No! Only vulvas and bottoms go there!
(responding to toys being put IN the potty)
Eeek! Yep, that woukd make the list! š
Miriam – mummy, we dont eat poo
me- no we dont
miriam – mummy we dont touch poo
me – thats right, we dont touch poo
miriam – can i touch the cat poo?
me – no you cannot touch the cat poo
miriam – bird poo?
……
Hee hee! The girl really wants to touch the poo! š
Love it!! What a classic š Yep, I’ve been there. Have most definitely found myself saying things that I would never have said pre baby. You know, ‘ I really would prefer that you didn’t eat my face.’ That’s quite popular at the moment. š xx
Hee hee! Nice to hear from you, Miss Cookas! You ask your baby not to eat your face so reasonably and politely too! š
I do try to respect his right to eat my face, but sometimes the slobber just gets a bit much. I’ve missed your posts! I’ve just been super slacking off on checking the blogs over the holidays. xx