Mums say the darnedest things

Have you ever caught yourself talking to your children, and been struck by the thought that you might sound a little unhinged/ borderline unfit-to-parent to somebody who hadn’t quite picked up the context? Just for a lark I thought I would record some of the more peculiar things that have come out of my mouth – mainly directed at my 2-year-old – this past month.

Here they are, verbatim:

“Who put weet-bix on my eyelid?”

“You can drill the wall, but I don’t want you banging the wall.”

“I don’t think the sun gives milk to its baby.”

“We don’t sit on people’s toast.”

“Stop rubbing your ice-block into the doormat!”

“That’s not Jesus, that’s the man who reads the news.”

“If you need to wee, do it on the grass.”

“Mummy is not a fun fair – it hurts when you jump on my head!”

“Soap is not for eating.”

“That’s not Jesus, that’s just Michael Clarke – he plays cricket.

“The drill isn’t meant to go in your ear.”

“I’m raining Lego!”

“All the diggers are asleep now.”

“That’s not Baby Jesus, that’s Angelina Ballerina.”

“Go to sleep – there are no flying fish in your cot.”

If you’ve caught yourself saying something odd to your children lately, I’d love to hear it!

18 thoughts on “Mums say the darnedest things

  1. Perfect, as always , so sweet. Ummm, I have no toddlers and my granddaughter is five months old..haha! I won’t say the strange things I say to my two seventeen year old boys :D…Loved this ā¤

      • LOL! You will find out soon enough…I don’t want to ruin the precious moments of your sweet blog..some are very strange though.. I have lost hope of Rhode Scholars, I will say that, LOLOL ;)..but I love them ā¤

      • OK..thought of some:

        ME: If this item that has been in the hallway, that has been here for a week, does not make it to someone’s room in the next 24 hours it is going to disappear permanently….
        (Item mysteriously disappears on it’s own šŸ™‚ )

        ME: Can you PLEASE find you hamster that keeps scaring me to death in the middle of the night!
        MICHAEL: I have been trying will not hurt you…*smiles*
        (hamster is size of large rodent )

        DARICK: Well, in school today we just hung out and did nothing….
        ME: What do you mean? Your teachers did not teach you anything?
        DARICK: No, not really, but we got to play on our phones in one class, and I had to show my computer teacher how to make a web site…
        ME: bangs head

        ME: uses the word “witty”
        MICHAEL: what does that mean?
        ME: *stares blankly at my son* :/

        I am sure I could come up with much funnier ones…for instance anything beginning with…

        Mom, do not be upset….
        Mom, I really love you…
        are always winners šŸ™‚

        Oh the teen years…but I am sad they are almost over…to be honest. Enjoy, enjoy, they need you most when they are toddlers and teens. I do so love you blog. ā¤ -CC

  2. Miriam – mummy, we dont eat poo
    me- no we dont
    miriam – mummy we dont touch poo
    me – thats right, we dont touch poo
    miriam – can i touch the cat poo?
    me – no you cannot touch the cat poo
    miriam – bird poo?


  3. Love it!! What a classic šŸ˜€ Yep, I’ve been there. Have most definitely found myself saying things that I would never have said pre baby. You know, ‘ I really would prefer that you didn’t eat my face.’ That’s quite popular at the moment. šŸ™Š xx

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