Mums say the darnedest things

Have you ever caught yourself talking to your children, and been struck by the thought that you might sound a little unhinged/ borderline unfit-to-parent to somebody who hadn’t quite picked up the context? Just for a lark I thought I would record some of the more peculiar things that have come out of my mouth – mainly directed at my 2-year-old – this past month.

Here they are, verbatim:

“Who put weet-bix on my eyelid?”

“You can drill the wall, but I don’t want you banging the wall.”

“I don’t think the sun gives milk to its baby.”

“We don’t sit on people’s toast.”

“Stop rubbing your ice-block into the doormat!”

“That’s not Jesus, that’s the man who reads the news.”

“If you need to wee, do it on the grass.”

“Mummy is not a fun fair – it hurts when you jump on my head!”

“Soap is not for eating.”

“That’s not Jesus, that’s just Michael Clarke – he plays cricket.

“The drill isn’t meant to go in your ear.”

“I’m raining Lego!”

“All the diggers are asleep now.”

“That’s not Baby Jesus, that’s Angelina Ballerina.”

“Go to sleep – there are no flying fish in your cot.”

If you’ve caught yourself saying something odd to your children lately, I’d love to hear it!

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